There’s something about stillness that scares us. We avoid it, outrun it, push it away. But when I found my zen with Butter (who happens to be a horse), I discovered a space that’s softer—one that brings us back to ourselves.
The Calm in Connection
Yesterday, at a horse farm just outside Annapolis, ten of us–-perfect strangers from various corners of life–-gathered to explore mindfulness. The practice–-something I’ve never been very good at–-seemed infinitely more appealing surrounded by beautiful horses in nature. I was wooed to attend by Tina Peratino, a gifted women’s fitness and wellness coach (and my bodybuilding coach) with over 20 years of experience, who is also a horse lover. We started with a grounding exercise—a simple but powerful tool designed to bring us fully into the present moment. The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique simply asks you to notice five things you can see. Four you can touch. Three you can hear. Two you can smell. One you can taste. The exercise is intended to help people overcome their inner anxieties by focusing outward.
It sounds simple, but simplicity isn’t synonymous with easy: it took time to quiet the noise of life that tends to follow us everywhere. Yet the moment we were asked to choose a horse and just be with the animal and see what it could teach us about ourselves, I knew this would be different.
More Than a Horse
I chose Butter, a majestic white mare and a quiet, grounding presence. I started by observing her, but before I knew it, I was leaning into her, petting her, and whispering as though she understood. I don’t know what I said. What I do know is that I felt heard. And there was something healing in that moment, something about her calm presence that seemed to hold space for whatever I was carrying.
Butter wasn’t there to fix anything, and that was the point. She was simply there—calm, accepting, peaceful. In her stillness, I found my own.
Letting Go
After connecting with the horses, we were asked to partner with another attendee, to choose another horse and observe how our partner interacted with that horse. That’s when my mind started racing. I noticed my tendency to want to fix things—whether it was the way the other woman brushed her horse or the scars and dirt patches on Butter’s back. It struck me how much of life we approach this way—always wanting to mend, improve, adjust. But what if the point is not to fix, but to simply be?
That’s what this experience taught me. Butter didn’t need fixing, and neither did I. She was enough. And in her presence, so was I.
The Energy You Bring
Horses are prey animals, which means they’re incredibly sensitive to their surroundings. They pick up on the energy we bring, reflecting it back to us like a mirror. When we’re agitated, they’re on edge. When we’re calm, they relax. It’s a reminder that the energy we carry into any space matters. Whether it’s a meeting, a conversation, or even a moment alone, what we bring can shape the experience.
Butter reminded me of that. It seemed as though she understood my need to snuggle and pet her and she was there for it–a patient listener, nuzzling me back with affection.
Returning to Stillness
Would I do this again? Totally! There’s something deeply grounding about spending time in nature, about connecting with animals who quietly show us the things we often miss in ourselves. Butter, and all the horses there, were sages, in their own way–teaching us to slow down, to be mindful, and to show up with intention.
Because sometimes, healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about finding stillness in the chaos and realizing that, in this moment, you are enough.
I'm so glad that you came out to experience this and got so much from it. Horses are naturally mindful and always present, because as prey animals, that's how they survive. It's so powerful to have them allow us to be in their presence, since we are predators. When our energy is right, and we are accepted, there's nothing quite like that to heal ourselves. Can't wait to have you come back!