Finding the Middle: My Journey to Moderation

Moderation has never been easy for me.

I’m wired for extremes.

I’m either dialed up to 11 or completely shut off. I’m racing to school drop-off in PJ pants or I’m spaced out on the couch. The idea of finding a middle ground is something I am working on—and let me tell you, it’s hard. Why? Because the world we live in doesn’t reward balance. We live in a society of extremes: hustle or rest, all or nothing, win or lose. The language we use pulls us to the edges, reinforcing that black-and-white mentality.

You’re either posting all your wins on social media, or you’re silent. If something is mundane, society doesn’t acknowledge it–instead, we smile for the selfie. In our everyday conversations, we simplify emotions to fit these polar ends. I’m guilty of this, too, when my daughter asks, “Mom, are you mad?” my cop-out reaction might be to say, “No, I’m not mad,” or “I’m just tired,” because the complicated stuff that lives in the in-between is harder to express.

And then there’s drinking. It’s often framed the same way: you’re either a drinker, or you’re sober. But where does that leave people like me, who don’t fit neatly into either box?

Reevaluating My Approach to Alcohol

My relationship with alcohol has always been a bit wobbly. I’ve swung between overindulgence and going completely cold turkey, trying to find some balance. The older I get, the more my body pushes back on those nights where I probably shouldn’t have had that extra glass of wine.

On a recent trip to New York, I found myself re-evaluating the place alcohol holds in my life. I came across a couple of wellness companies that caught my attention and made me reconsider how I want to engage with drinking going forward.

Sunnyside Up

At a wellness convention, I met the founder of an app called *Sunnyside*. Yes, it’s a drinks-tracking app, but its goal isn’t to push you into quitting. Instead, it supports you in setting healthier drinking habits, whatever those may look like.

I decided to give it a try. I already track my food intake on MyFitnessPal to stay on top of my protein goals, so adding this didn’t feel like a huge leap. The app pairs you with a coach—someone who’s an experienced user—and there’s a community of people sharing their wins and struggles around drinking. In the evening, I’ll get a little nudge: “Hey Anne Marie, how’d it go yesterday?” It’s not about guilt or judgment; it’s about staying mindful.

The founder, Nick Allen, launched the app in 2020 after noticing that his and his wife’s drinking habits had shifted post-pandemic. It seemed, to them, as though the only available options were to quit entirely or do nothing. Sunnyside aims to give people a place to set goals and check in, without the all-or-nothing mentality. And honestly? It’s been really helpful. I’ve learned to pause before reaching for that second glass, and surprisingly, I’m drinking less—not because I have to, but because it feels good.

Othership: Finding Connection Without a Drink in Hand

I also visited a unique space called *Othership*, and it completely changed my idea of what socializing can look like. It’s part bathhouse, part social experience, and part wellness ritual. Imagine a sauna, followed by a cold plunge, all with a community of like-minded people—but without the expectation to drink.

I’ll admit, I was on the older side of the crowd. Most people there were in their twenties and thirties, and let’s just say, it was a bit of a body-confidence showcase. But the concept is really cool. Why aren’t there more places like this outside of the trendy city spots? I can see it being a fantastic alternative to grabbing a coffee, meeting a friend for drinks, or even networking. Instead of chatting over cocktails, you’re connecting while sweating in a sauna or braving a cold plunge.

I’m already planning my inaugural visit to the new *Awarehouse*, another wellness space with a sauna and guided “fire-and-ice” sessions. 

The Power of Shared Space

Then there’s *Modern Revival*, a wellness startup that invited me to join a small group session. Now, I’ve never been one for group therapy. I like my therapy to be all about me, thank you very much. But I decided to give it a go. 

I discovered there’s something profoundly healing in sharing space with others. Listening to their hopes, dreams, and fears through guided prompts made me realize just how much we have in common. There’s something about hearing someone else’s story that reflects back a piece of your own. It’s humbling and affirming, and it made me feel a little less alone.

The Takeaway: Embracing the In-Between

So, what have I learned through all of this? Moderation isn’t about perfection. It’s not about always getting it right or achieving some magical balance that society rarely celebrates. It’s about being intentional, paying attention, and finding your own middle ground—even when the world seems to be pulling you toward the extremes.

Whether it’s with alcohol, socializing, or even therapy, I’m learning that living in the in-between is not only possible—it’s powerful. And maybe, just maybe, that’s where the real growth happens.