Gymtimidation is Real

Strength training empowers women, but the gym can feel like a minefield.

Not judging, but I think it should be spelled judgment.

There’s a lot going on at the gym.

The weight room can feel like a stage, filled with grunts, stolen glances, and silent judgments. And beneath it all, the nagging doubt: Am I doing this right? Do I even belong here?

On one hand, gyms are places of empowerment. On the other, our deeply ingrained insecurities can make them feel intimidating.

Social media has fueled a surge in fitness culture over the past decade, both inspiring and pressuring women. The rise of boutique studios and budget gym chains has made strength training more accessible than ever. But accessibility doesn’t always mean inclusivity.

Emma Cowley, a researcher studying the conflicting messages in fitness spaces, recently co-authored a study in PLOS One with Jekaterina Schneider. Surveying 279 women about their gym experiences, Cowley and Schneider found a common thread: many felt scrutinized—both for how they looked and how they performed.

For women, “one of the biggest barriers is the fear of judgment,” stressed Cowley in an interview with me over the weekend.

One major theme of the study, she noted, was never enough. Women worried about being judged— though they insisted they would never judge others. “I worry that people will laugh at me for being overweight,” one participant admitted. “I have no issue with another woman’s body hair,” another mentioned, “but I still feel self-conscious about my own.”

When survey participants were asked how they felt in front of men, 29 percent said they felt more judged by men than women at the gym, while 39 percent reported feeling more intimidated. “A persistent sense of inadequacy” emerged, along with the feeling of having to “fight for space… and be taken seriously.” Women also reported navigating harassment and unsolicited comments from men.

Cowley also observed that men in gyms tend to interact with a casual, easy camaraderie, while women often keep to themselves.

I thought about this as I reflected on my own gym experiences. When was the last time I looked up from my lifts to speak to another woman? I couldn’t remember.

A new Gold’s Gym recently opened in my neighborhood and, to my surprise and delight, about half of its members appear to be women. Over the years, I’ve been frustrated by male (mis)behavior—the guy last week who grunted aggressively next to me; the one who told me I wasn’t using the bench “correctly” and should move. (I had some choice words in response.) So I’ve decided to make an effort to connect with the women I see at the gym every day.

One highlight at my gym from this past weekend: I met Erica Lloyd, who recently joined after her physical therapist encouraged her to lift, saying it was crucial as women age. “It was the kick in the butt I needed,” she told me. The 44-year-old college and career services director, who says she never thought of herself as strong or athletic, has been surprised by how much she enjoys lifting. Now, she trains two to three times a week. “I’m bumping up the weights, and seeing the progress feels really rewarding,” she said.

Do you even lift, bro?

Three More Reps:

Speaking of mixed messages, this weekend’s Super Bowl wellness ads included an odd thematic mix of GLP-1 promotions and women’s empowerment. A few that caught my eye:

– NFL’s Flag 50 ad, meant to promote girls’ flag football in all 50 states, felt clichéd and underwhelming. My friend

Sam Fakahany

and I agreed that the “girls against boys” trope was tired and unnecessary. Instead of proving that “Gee, girls can beat boys at their own game,” the ad would have been far more powerful had it simply celebrated the talent and determination of young female athletes playing flag football, or even rugby. I could have watched that forever, without needing them to beat “Chad” for validation.

– Dove’s "Born to Run" ad was sweet but lacked emotional depth. It didn’t carry the same awe-inspiring impact as some of Dove’s earlier campaigns, like #ReverseSelfie or the #RealBeautySketches.

– Nike’s "You Can’t Win, So Win" ad was definitely the standout. Goosebumps. It was a powerful, unfiltered look at modern athletes, capturing both their struggles and triumphs. The message? Keep going. Keep proving them wrong.