Nice piece. I'm a big fan of Kyle and what he's working on at Resilient Mental State. His notion about breaking off small bites on a mastery journey — like the wall sit — are spot on. The small bites eventually add up to a fuller plate. My 2025 "resolutions" were all in this vein, including a dead hang for grip strength. https://nottoolate.substack.com/p/3-little-things-to-build-strength.
Plus, finding a crevice of calm amid chaos is a huge secret weapon.
It’s OK Kyle. I know you’ll make up to me with some insane challenges. Thanks to Anne Marie Chaker for letting us have this conversation. I just preordered a copy of your book to give my partner as a token of my appreciation. She already kicks my butt. I’m guessing after reading Lift it’ll only get more embarrassing. I hope there’s a section in Lift on teaching men humility.
Without a doubt, you are the first and only person who's used "savage" in connection with my physical prowess ... but we digress. I was up to around 2 min and 30 sec at my peak. It's good for my age — but there are people who are a lot better! I'm working to get it back up there. 30 to 60 seconds is generally a good target for the average person ... 90 seconds is great.
Two and a half minutes is great for any age! My best is right around there too and I plan to get back to it once my shoulder is cleared (most likely in a week).
I wrote a challenge post on dead hangs back in the day before many were reading my posts and my belief around general goals for the dead hangs aligns with what you said Wendy:
Kyle! You are the master of resilience. Did you just write you’re letting a shoulder injury stop you? I have had these visions of your doing one armed hangs and one arm pushups. Was I wrong?! Say it isn’t so.
Great read and all solid advice. 100% on the 'get to vs have to' and perspective on EVERYTHING. IMO, perspective is what keeps those who are going 1000 mph with their hair on fire and look calm and cool different from those who fall apart when life just gets a little out of whack. LOVE the do one hard thing challenge, although I typically do that myself once per day. I aim to do something uncomfortable every single day as much as possible. Big and small. There's a really great Huberman podcast with David Goggins where they discuss this part of the brain (can't remember what it's called) that grows when we do something challenging and shrinks when we don't (I'm really simplifying it here), but the more we use it the bigger it gets, and the bigger it gets, the more resilient and able to take on challenges we are. If we don't use it, it shrinks. It's pretty great to be able to grow your resilience muscles. Because let's face it, lie is NOT going to get any easier, but we CAN get better at dealing with it.
Love it Tina! I also loved that episode with Huberman who illuminated the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. So empowering to know we actually have a location in the brain that responds to doing difficult things. More evidence that resilience is both a skill and muscle that can be trained!
Yes! That's it. Couldn't remember the name of it but it stuck with me because it's something I already practice daily and encourage with all my clients as well. It was good to know that there was an actual part of my brain I can "use it or lose it." We are not born resilient, it is a skill, and a muscle, like with anything else takes time, repetition (reps), and lots of practice to build. Time under tension and progressive overload apply to ALL our muscles ;)
Thank you, that means a lot and I truly appreciate it. Maybe we can connect on some project in the future! #greatminds :) Also, my son is in the Navy, so holds a special place in my heart. He's currently on his first deployment.
Would love to connect in the future! Thank you to you and your family for your service. I love the navy but it’s absolutely a sacrifice, especially when it comes to deployments. My best to you and yours and I look forward to future collaborations.
Oh, and for the record, the fact that meditation is so excruciatingly painful for you is EXACTLY why you need to be doing it! I hated it years ago when I started because I just had the wrong attitude about it (slowing down was for sissies and my brain wouldn't stop blah blah blah), but also the exact reason I fell in love with it. It was SO hard, but I stuck with it, and now I literally cannot live without it. I credit my meditation practice (which takes place in a lot of arenas for me, not just sitting criss cross applesauce on the floor) to literally saving my mental, emotional, and physical health.
Great to see you profiled, Kyle, and Anne Marie, I don’t know how this is the first time I’ve come across your work. It’s awesome—I’m excited to preorder Lift and read more of your pieces here.
As a big Resilient Mental State fan, I think you've really nailed it on his solid advice. Choosing how we see our stress, and moving toward managing it in a way that is sustainable and has the power to change us for the better is so empowering! I actually write about the same thing, I am so passionate about it!
Also sorry to hear about the fire and your car getting stolen, all of that on top of no coffee! Good luck at your bodybuilding competition!
Nice piece. I'm a big fan of Kyle and what he's working on at Resilient Mental State. His notion about breaking off small bites on a mastery journey — like the wall sit — are spot on. The small bites eventually add up to a fuller plate. My 2025 "resolutions" were all in this vein, including a dead hang for grip strength. https://nottoolate.substack.com/p/3-little-things-to-build-strength.
Plus, finding a crevice of calm amid chaos is a huge secret weapon.
Love that!!!
Thanks Gwen! Dead hangs are on my list of future monthly challenges! Appreciate you and everything you do as always
It’s OK Kyle. I know you’ll make up to me with some insane challenges. Thanks to Anne Marie Chaker for letting us have this conversation. I just preordered a copy of your book to give my partner as a token of my appreciation. She already kicks my butt. I’m guessing after reading Lift it’ll only get more embarrassing. I hope there’s a section in Lift on teaching men humility.
Marshall, thank you so much!! Message me if you'd like a bookplate mailed to you. Warmest--anne marie
Gotta ask knowing how much of a savage you are along with your feats within obstacle course racing - what is your best dead hang time?
Without a doubt, you are the first and only person who's used "savage" in connection with my physical prowess ... but we digress. I was up to around 2 min and 30 sec at my peak. It's good for my age — but there are people who are a lot better! I'm working to get it back up there. 30 to 60 seconds is generally a good target for the average person ... 90 seconds is great.
I call....SAVAGE!!!!
😂😂😂
Two and a half minutes is great for any age! My best is right around there too and I plan to get back to it once my shoulder is cleared (most likely in a week).
I wrote a challenge post on dead hangs back in the day before many were reading my posts and my belief around general goals for the dead hangs aligns with what you said Wendy:
https://open.substack.com/pub/kyleshepard10/p/intentional-stress-challenge-dead?r=1cn3fa&utm_medium=ios
Kyle! You are the master of resilience. Did you just write you’re letting a shoulder injury stop you? I have had these visions of your doing one armed hangs and one arm pushups. Was I wrong?! Say it isn’t so.
I have failed you Marshall and I’m sorry…
Great read and all solid advice. 100% on the 'get to vs have to' and perspective on EVERYTHING. IMO, perspective is what keeps those who are going 1000 mph with their hair on fire and look calm and cool different from those who fall apart when life just gets a little out of whack. LOVE the do one hard thing challenge, although I typically do that myself once per day. I aim to do something uncomfortable every single day as much as possible. Big and small. There's a really great Huberman podcast with David Goggins where they discuss this part of the brain (can't remember what it's called) that grows when we do something challenging and shrinks when we don't (I'm really simplifying it here), but the more we use it the bigger it gets, and the bigger it gets, the more resilient and able to take on challenges we are. If we don't use it, it shrinks. It's pretty great to be able to grow your resilience muscles. Because let's face it, lie is NOT going to get any easier, but we CAN get better at dealing with it.
Love it Tina! I also loved that episode with Huberman who illuminated the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. So empowering to know we actually have a location in the brain that responds to doing difficult things. More evidence that resilience is both a skill and muscle that can be trained!
Yes! That's it. Couldn't remember the name of it but it stuck with me because it's something I already practice daily and encourage with all my clients as well. It was good to know that there was an actual part of my brain I can "use it or lose it." We are not born resilient, it is a skill, and a muscle, like with anything else takes time, repetition (reps), and lots of practice to build. Time under tension and progressive overload apply to ALL our muscles ;)
❤️. you sound like a phenomenal coach even if Anne hadn’t already bragged about you to me over the weekend
@Tina really is phenomenal. Puts a lot of heart into her work.
Thank you, that means a lot and I truly appreciate it. Maybe we can connect on some project in the future! #greatminds :) Also, my son is in the Navy, so holds a special place in my heart. He's currently on his first deployment.
Would love to connect in the future! Thank you to you and your family for your service. I love the navy but it’s absolutely a sacrifice, especially when it comes to deployments. My best to you and yours and I look forward to future collaborations.
I really love how this platform brings good people together. It makes my heart happy.
I gotta find that podcast
https://youtu.be/84dYijIpWjQ
Clip from the podcast about what we are discussing 👊🏻
Watching now. This is so good!!!
love it! (and thought of you/Nik with the Navy angle here!!) You'd love @Kyle.
Oh, and for the record, the fact that meditation is so excruciatingly painful for you is EXACTLY why you need to be doing it! I hated it years ago when I started because I just had the wrong attitude about it (slowing down was for sissies and my brain wouldn't stop blah blah blah), but also the exact reason I fell in love with it. It was SO hard, but I stuck with it, and now I literally cannot live without it. I credit my meditation practice (which takes place in a lot of arenas for me, not just sitting criss cross applesauce on the floor) to literally saving my mental, emotional, and physical health.
YES! SAME! And it's exactly what they're discussing in the podcast. I will give it a go!!!
Pursue your unique hards!
Great to see you profiled, Kyle, and Anne Marie, I don’t know how this is the first time I’ve come across your work. It’s awesome—I’m excited to preorder Lift and read more of your pieces here.
Thank you Erica! Nice to meet you!!
As a big Resilient Mental State fan, I think you've really nailed it on his solid advice. Choosing how we see our stress, and moving toward managing it in a way that is sustainable and has the power to change us for the better is so empowering! I actually write about the same thing, I am so passionate about it!
Also sorry to hear about the fire and your car getting stolen, all of that on top of no coffee! Good luck at your bodybuilding competition!